Stella is slowing down and it makes me sad. I know it’s the cycle of life, but I’m selfish. I want her with me for another 3 or 4 years but I know this is nearly impossible. You see, Stella is 12 ½, and for a big dog, that makes her close to 100 years old. Her mother was a black Great Dane named Molly (I’m not kidding) and her father was a horny black lab (go figure). She may be getting older, but I’m certainly not ready for her to leave me.
Stella’s been slowing down for the last 2 years which is sad and wonderful at the same time. As dogs get older, like many people, they become more beautiful. They learn to speak to you with their clouded eyes, thanking you for everything you do for them. They understand your good days and bad. Their sweet faces, once black or tan, are now covered in grey fur which makes them look distinguished and wise. They don’t complain and they love you unconditionally every, single day.
As Stella’s life is winding down, it makes me realize the importance of slowing down myself and embracing the small things in life. When you’re in a rush, you may miss the small flower or the cardinal in the tree. You may even miss the rainbow over your head as you’re thinking about everything you need to get done that day. But when you have a reason to slow down, you don’t miss these things. You become acutely aware of things you’d otherwise not even notice.
It’s been almost a year since I last brought “the girls” down to the beach. Instead of chasing birds and squirrels like Jessie does, Stella prefers to slowly wander through the woods and along the beach like a tired old archaeologist looking for some buried treasures. There is no need to do anything immediately—she simply takes her time and enjoys her walk. She knows I will wait as long as it takes even if I’m in a rush. She looks up at me with those pleading dark brown eyes saying, “What’s the hurry Mom? Let’s stop here for a minute because I think I smell a rabbit.”
She can’t make hard cuts or play with Jessie like she did as an agile, younger dog because her legs give out on her. And she’s having trouble jumping on the bed (even though she REFUSES to use the steps we bought for her). She can still jog when she feels like it and is incredibly athletic in her gait. When Stella runs, she resembles a thoroughbred moving across the land with ease—it’s an incredible sight.
But I’m scared. Her back legs are getting weaker and I can see the muscles wasting away before my eyes. The good news is that Stella is happier than she’s ever been. She loves to eat, meet other dogs, go for long walks and get an unexpected pat on the head from a stranger. She is attentive and is still a great protector of the house. Yet, her clock, like all of ours, is ticking. And the ticking is getting louder.
How do we best deal with these difficult life situations and how do we know when it’s time to say good-bye?
I know my Stella will let me know when she is ready to go. She is one smart and stubborn dog. When she “misses” the bed, she won’t even let me help her get on it. When I ask her if she’s okay while we’re walking, she’ll burst into a jog to say “There’s nothing wrong with me! Can’t you see I’m running?”
If there’s one thing I know for sure, that dog knows how much I love her. She knows I’ll slow down for her any time, any day. And why not? One day, without thinking, I’ll turn around and wait for her to catch up to me and she won’t be there. So today, I’ll let her wander as long as she wants…
Please share your story of how your life changed towards the end of your pet’s life.
Slow Down and Smile,
Molly
She is beautiful, as are your thoughts about slowing down. I wish I could do it today. Frankie
She gets more beautiful every day… 🙂
Lovely post, Miss Molly.
Thank you…I loved writing it.
Sweet sad. I don’t look for the days when my two fur kids start to slow even tho they are sometimes so full of energy i can’t keep up. Beautiful Stella – lucky you have each other. and super good advice! thank you.
Thank you Gwyn. Our 4 legged children become an important part of our lives…thanks for your kind comment.
That picture makes her nose look big….Stella has been one of your most beautiful and regal dogs. She is a grand lady. I love her more everytime I visit with her.
She is regal and beautiful…and gets sweeter every day…:)
I am sobbing. What a beautiful story about a long-time member of your family!
Thanks Michele. It’s hard to believe we’ve had her for so long…since she was only 6 weeks old. She is amazing…thanks for taking the time to comment. 🙂
Molly, what is there to say – trying to keep the keyboard from getting wet – crying along with lots of others I am sure. I have experienced the bravery, courage, love and “wiseness” of a dog – I can only hope I am like them when I am at the “slow down” stage….
Hi Maria: Sorry your keyboard is getting wet but I understand. I cried while I was writing it…cried when I edited it…cried when I posted it…and have cried a few more times. Thanks for the comment. We all hope to be as brave and courageous as our dogs…
Molly…this lovely post was very timely for me. We said goodbye to our precious Gator three weeks ago; he lived a wonderful life and brought us so much joy for fourteen years, and for eight of those he thrived with only three legs! He, too, had been slowing down for the last two years, and then he became quite ill. Making the decision of when to say goodbye was very difficult, but our amazing animal communicator friend, Janet Ridgeway, told us a week before he died that “he is not in pain, he is not afraid and he will let you know within the next two weeks when he is ready to go.” And,of course, that is just what he did. Our kind and gentle vet came to the house and helped us say goodbye to Gator in the most lovely and peaceful way. We feel so much gratitude and love for this sweet dog, who taught us all so much over the years. And, before we get used to the house being too quiet and too tidy, we are jumping right back into adding another dog to the family. Our new puppy, Lila, was born February 10th and we will pick her up in April! The circle of life goes on…Much love to you! Kimball
Oh Kimball. I’m so sorry to hear about Gator. I can hardly believe he was 14!! What a great life you gave him and he never let losing a leg slow him down. 🙂
Congratulations on your new pup…Lila. Please send pictures when you get here. I’m sending you all the love I can…
Oh yes the slowing down. God gave me a pretty severe leg injury to slow me down for Dexter’s last year and a half. This really made me be ok with the “walks” instead of the “runs”. I miss him every day. Dexter was the most grateful dog!
Hi Vicki: I know at the time it was hard to slow down, but looking back, aren’t you glad you did? Dexter was THE BEST DOG and he knew how much you loved him. I loved him too…as you know…and still miss him. I’m glad he got to run on the beach as his last vacation 🙂 Much love…
Reminds me of our Golden Retriever Missy. She was 15 and 1/2. She loved Fig Newtons. She ate them everyday. The day she wouldn’t take a Newton from us, was her way of telling us it was time. We have since rescued 2 pit bulls from our local shelter, a pup and another that is probably five yrs old. There is nothing like the unconditional love of a dog.
Wow. I think I will start giving our girls Fig Newtons! I would love for them to live to almost 16 years old. Thanks so much for the comment…I agree with everything you said… be well!
Oh Molly, I just cried all over myself- I had to pause and then come back to comment so that I could see the screen. Your message really hit home as I read this with my two little furry babies sitting on my lap and thought about my childhood cat of 18 years that we just put to sleep last month. It’s never easy but these little creatures are such blessings while we have them and yes they certainly are a reminder that the simplest things are the real pleasures in life.
Thanks Vicki…I have cried a lot too…which is funny because my girl is alive and kicking! So sorry you had to put your cat to sleep…even at 18 years old. It’s still very sad…thanks so much for your comment…they mean the world to us…. 🙂
That really hit home for me too. We have 3 aging dogs and it’s hard to imagine life without them. Dogs just don’t live long enough! How lucky we all are though to have pets that we love and that love us back so much!!!! So you do just have to slow down and enjoy the time you have with them.
All 3 are older dogs? Yes, you will definitely have to slow down and enjoy every moment with them. Best of luck to you and your pack…may good health bless you all.
Molly, I too am tearied eyed. Not good because I am at work:) You expressed this so beautifully! Thank you for the reminder of slowing down. We can learn so much from our pets, like the benefit of a good nap every now and then. Cody our beloved cockapoo was quite a character and his best friend Poochie, our bichon maltese missed him terribly after he passed. Poochie went in to hiding and only came out to eat and for his daily walk. The vet told me he was going through depression and for me to take him with me as much as possible. So whenever I had a quick errand Poochie went with me, and got used to getting bones at the bank and McDonalds. After a few weeks Poochie was back to his peppy self but everynow and then, he would sit an howl in the dining room (Cody’s favorite resting place) I will always picture them playing together. Sadly Poochie has since passed. While we have another dog, Lucy, Poochie and Cody will always have a special place in our hearts!
Hi Michelle. Pets get depressed too…and it’s so sad. Thankfully, you noticed and took Poochie out with you to help ease his sadness. What a special story…thank you for sharing.
Molly – that was so eloquent and touching. Stella knows that she has been loved unconditionally all of her life with you and Frank. What happiness you have given her.
I will never understand why we were designed to outlive our companion animals – maybe it’s just so we will share our loves and lives with several during our lives.
Kisses to Stella for me.
Thanks so much Barb. I think we outlive our pets so we can give love, food and shelter to many. But it sure ia hard when we have to say goodbye. Thanks for your kind words
Wonderful writing, Molly. I was touched, and it reminds me of the simple, sweet, silly times when I’ve “slowed down” to share with my beloved pets. I’ll do it even more often now that I’ve read this.
Tanks Denise. We all need a reminder to slow down and older pets and people can make us slow down,,,in a good way. Thanks for your comment.
What a bittersweet thought. I believe that no matter what age we should take a moment to pause at least once a week. Though I am not religious in a strange way going to your place of worship can do that for some people. In my case, because I too have an older dog, walking Bear’s slow pace, is a form of meditation. I think you are experiencing the same thing with Stella. Please send Bear and Harley’s love to the girls.
Thanks Diane. When Bear walks slowly it does make you slow down and appreciate life. Instead of once a week, try once a day…even if it is only for 3 minutes. It makes a difference. Will give the girls love from Harley and Bear and we’re sending it back.
I am crying my eyes out Molly. What an awesome post. Thanks for reminding me to slow down. love ya and thanks again, jlb
Thanks Jona. We all need to remember to slow down…and often we get reminders from our dogs to do so…sending lots of love your way… Molly
Molly
I too was crying while reading because my dog, JD, is also getting up there in age and I don’t want to have to say goodbye to him any time soon.
Recently my sister introduced me to skiing and I can’t thank her enough. This new found love has made me realize that I work too much and play too little. I am finally learning I need to slow down and enjoy life.
Hi Heathter. JR will let you know when he’s ready…let’s hope for many more happy years. Enjoy skiiing and keep reminding yourself to slow down…Thanks for your comment.
What a great life lesson we can learn from Stella! We have a 3 year old dog Maggie (half lab half beagle) so we’re at the stage of “find the fun in all you do!” Another great life lesson! Thanks for the mindful moment, Molly!
Thank you Molly! Enjoy your “puppy” time….may it last for a very long time! I’m looking forward to meeting you 🙂
Thats is such a beautful wake up for all. We just lost our Black Lab/rottie,Misty just before xmas.Darryl and I were with her to the end. She was 13, we were hoping and praying when we saw her slowing down thats she would still be here a little longer. But that was not to be. She wanted out side and so we took her on the back deck and she looked to the sky and back at us both. then she peacefully left us. We did slow down for our Misty. She’s with us on the property and we will get her a stone in spring. She was our family.. in the end she has us all slow down and enjoy life around you. She loved cgasing butterflies. Our “Misty” glides like a butterfly now !
Oh Donna. This is a truly beautiful story about your Misty. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.
Sorry it took me a while to get to read this but, ironically, things have been too hectic with work and travel for me to take a look. Beautiful sentiments and you made me cry. Thanks, Molly…I cannot begin to tell you how happy I am that you and Frank are in our lives.
xo e
Thanks Ellen. I just read your email about finding a home for Bob (a wonderful cat for anyone who’s interested…check out my Facebook page). We are so happy to be in your lives too! Thanks for the nice words…
You really know how to tug at the heart strings. I finally got around to reading this. Seeing you and Stella the other day reminded me about it. It was such a nice surprise to run into you. I haven’t suffered the loss of one of my own babies yet, but I’ve felt the pain of losing many of my pet sitting babies over the years. It hits me every time.
Thanks Hayley. It was great running into you too! Stella is such a good girl and she LOVES it down here so much. Thanks for taking the time to read her article… 🙂 Stay well!
Hi Molly, I thank you for sharing your story in such a beautiful way. I too have a big dog, a boxer mix named Malcolm and he’s just starting to gray around his nose. We’ve only had him for three years and I have been so busy each semester. Unable to take him for walks hurts my heart. I feel like a bad pet owner because I know he could use a little more than a skip around the yard. Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful perspective on stella. I see things a little brighter now and I appreciate you for that.
CJ
Hi. Charlene. Thanks for your comment. I love the name Malcolm! I hope you can find some time to take him on walks. It is so important for them and is a great bonding time for you both. Even if you only have 10 minutes, Malcolm will be forever grateful! Stay well…
Hi Molly,
My eyes are starting to fill with tears as I write the post. My Roxy is an 8 year old Rottweiler and my first child. The bond we share is amazing, she can sense when I have a tough day and comes to the rescue with a big sloppy kiss. She sleeps on my husbands side of the bed when he travels, protecting me through the night. She brings burts of laughter to our beach community when we take her for walks on the dock to watch the sunset…she tries to jump in for a swim.
Roxy has begun to slow down, she has hip dysplasia and it has gotten worse over the winter. A surgery won’t help her. I give her pain medication to ease the pain from the cold. I love her so much and not ready to say goodbye but I can’t be selfish and keep her forever on pain meds
Oops…wasn’t finished and hit submit. So, I’m not sure when it will be goodbye but I am making sure she knows how much she is loved. I sat with her last night on the floor and cried. She licked the tears off my check the whole time. Our pets teach us so many things, especially unconditional love! I love my Roxy but will always do what’s best for her.
They are so smart…so sweet…and know what we’re thinking. I wish you and Roxie many more great years together. Thank you for your comments…. 🙂
Hi Leslie: Your Roxy sounds wonderful. I love “Rotties”…they are big and sweet and loving. I’m so sad to hear about her hip dysplasia at such a young age…you should try some healing touch therapy on her. I may write about it in the near future…had it done on Stella today by one of my good friends…
Yea she is quite a charactor. Grinning face,, prancing up and down to get her meals quicker (only area in her life that she is not patient on . lab half dominates here) and such a greeter. Loves people so. Such a big part of our lives. Such a sweetie.
She does teach us if we let her to stand stiill.. To appreciate the moments of transquiality in our lifes such as smelling grass ( us.. Flowers)..beauty inour city history (I love)..and so much more… she is teaching.. If we chose to listen..to stop rushing in life.. To take the precious few moments and do what you like..Stella loves to be with people and it is quite a sight to see her grinning face in her interaction.. Gives me joy letting her have her thing.
What an amazing, lovable and wonderful girl we have….and she is lucky to have you as her second mother 🙂 thanks for taking such good care of Stella and Jessie.