The inevitable day arrived. The day every animal lover dreads–saying good bye to a loyal 4-legged member of your family. And while we were lucky to have Stella for 14 wonderful years (nearly 2 years after I wrote the piece below), it feels like a piece of my heart has been ripped out of me. But, just as my heart is broken today, I have to remember that she filled my heart with so much unconditional love every day of her life.
So here’s to Stella and all the furry members of our families–they add so much to our lives. And here’s to remembering how important is is to SLOW DOWN, be thankful and share your love unconditionally.
February 2011. Stella is slowing down and it makes me sad. I know it’s the cycle of life, but I’m selfish. I want her with me for another 3 or 4 years but I know this is nearly impossible. You see, Stella is 12 ½, and for a big dog, that makes her close to 100 years old. Her mother was a black Great Dane named Molly (I’m not kidding) and her father was a horny black lab (go figure). She may be getting older, but I’m certainly not ready for her to leave me.
Stella’s been slowing down for the last 2 years which is sad and wonderful at the same time. As dogs get older, like many people, they become more beautiful. They learn to speak to you with their clouded eyes, thanking you for everything you do for them. They understand your good days and bad. Their sweet faces, once black or tan, are now covered in grey fur which makes them look distinguished and wise. They don’t complain and they love you unconditionally every, single day.
As Stella’s life is winding down, it makes me realize the importance of slowing down myself and embracing the small things in life. When you’re in a rush, you may miss the small flower or the cardinal in the tree. You may even miss the rainbow over your head as you’re thinking about everything you need to get done that day. But when you have a reason to slow down, you don’t miss these things. You become acutely aware of things you’d otherwise not even notice.
It’s been almost a year since I last brought “the girls” down to the beach. Instead of chasing birds and squirrels like Jessie does, Stella prefers to slowly wander through the woods and along the beach like a tired old archaeologist looking for some buried treasures. There is no need to do anything immediately—she simply takes her time and enjoys her walk. She knows I will wait as long as it takes even if I’m in a rush. She looks up at me with those pleading dark brown eyes saying, “What’s the hurry Mom? Let’s stop here for a minute because I think I smell a rabbit.”
She can’t make hard cuts or play with Jessie like she did as an agile, younger dog because her legs give out on her. And she’s having trouble jumping on the bed (even though she REFUSES to use the steps we bought for her). She can still jog when she feels like it and is incredibly athletic in her gait. When Stella runs, she resembles a thoroughbred moving across the land with ease—it’s an incredible sight.
But I’m scared. Her back legs are getting weaker and I can see the muscles wasting away before my eyes. The good news is that Stella is happier than she’s ever been. She loves to eat, meet other dogs, go for long walks and get an unexpected pat on the head from a stranger. She is attentive and is still a great protector of the house. Yet, her clock, like all of ours, is ticking. And the ticking is getting louder.
How do we best deal with these difficult life situations and how do we know when it’s time to say good-bye?
I know my Stella will let me know when she is ready to go. She is one smart and stubborn dog. When she “misses” the bed, she won’t even let me help her get on it. When I ask her if she’s okay while we’re walking, she’ll burst into a jog to say “There’s nothing wrong with me! Can’t you see I’m running?”
If there’s one thing I know for sure, that dog knows how much I love her. She knows I’ll slow down for her any time, any day. And why not? One day, without thinking, I’ll turn around and wait for her to catch up to me and she won’t be there. So today, I’ll let her wander as long as she wants…
Please share your story of how your life changed towards the end of your pet’s life.
I miss you Stella. Thanks for being my sweet girl all these years,
Molly
Our gratitude goes out to Dr. Yallof and Lindsay for their incredible care and compassion. They make the world a much better place.
In my office I have two computer screens. On one I do work. On the other I have a picture of Stella. She’s stares with her soft, serene gray face looking not quite at me; perhaps just past me. When I am sad she makes me happy. When I am angry, she brings me calm. When I am tired, she lifts me up. She is implacable and omniscient. I will miss her terribly in real life. But she’ll be with me every day in spirit.
I miss her so much. Our walks.through the park will never be the same…
I know how hard it is to lose a pet. He or she is your unconditional friend and there are no words really to describe the pain. Your Stella was a beauty. Her graceful aging was a testimony to the great care and love you showed her.
She was a real BEAUTY wasn’t she? So regal and loved all the attention she received from both people and dogs. Wish she could have made it to Christmas, but she is at peace now. Thanks Joanne.
I’m so sorry for you and Frank. Stella was such a beautiful and sweet girl. I hope her memory brings you peace.
Thanks Julie. We are missing her so much. Her beautiful presence was felt by so many people…we were lucky to have had her.
You know how terribly I miss Dexter. There is such a hole in my life but every time I run in the morning I think of him running next to me. If I could describe one word to describe Dexter it would be “GRATITUDE”. He was grateful for attention, food, love, a bed, a treat, a pat … and for having his life saved at the pound!!!
I know you will miss Stella so much. She was such a special dog.
Thanks Vicki. I remember crying my eyes out when Dexter died. He was such a great boy…these wonderful hounds will always be with us…for the rest of our lives.
Molly,
Can you hear what Stella is telling you now…….Mom, practice what you preach, slow down, enjoy the birds in the trees, the rainbows, the beauty of a blue sky……..take of yourself Mom………..
You are so right. Trying to do just that. Thanks Lynnie…
You were so good to Stella! We still feel her unconditional love with all your sweet portraits of her. We can never get enough of that unconditional love.
Thank you Tina…and thank you for the healing touch treatments you have her. xo
I remember bringing you a “baby shower” gift when you got Stella as a small puppy. As with all of your girls she was a part of our lives. Stella, however won the price for being the most mischievous. Her antics are legendary and will continue to make us laugh. As I read your story I could see Stella strolling in the park (as your description of her is perfect). You and Frank gave Stella a beautiful life and a beautiful end. We will continue to love her.
I should write an entire blog about some of those legendary antics you’re talking about. Wow. I think most people wouldn’t believe them… 🙂 Thanks for making me cry again…and laugh.
Molly, I’m so sorry to hear about dear Stella. I have so many fond memories of her. George still has videos of Jessie and Stella and we laugh at them frequently. I’m sitting here laughing and remembering the time she wasn’t feeling well and telling me at 2am it was time for a potty break. Watching her run was a sight to behold. She was just a special girl. I know you both will miss her as I will.
Stella had a lot of fun with you and George. Shannon emailed me this morning too…talking about all those great times. Hope you are both well and thanks for writing 🙂
Molly and Frank,
Stella lives on forever in the way she touched your lives. How wonderful to have had her so long. I am sorry she is gone. C
We were VERY fortunate that she lived to 14! That’s really, really old for a Great Dane/Lab mix. Still, I am sad walking through the park and dread having to tell people when they ask me where she is. She was the mayor of the park 🙂
Molly and Frank —
After losing some special people, I keep this by my desk and although I know it will not bring your beautiful girl back or unbreak your heart I hope it helps you guys a little too — “Do not cry because I am gone, smile because I have lived.”
Thank you Maria. That is beautiful and so true. Hope to.see you soon.
Big (((HUGS))) to you Molly. I am so sorry for your pain but happy that you had 14 wonderful years with Stella. Treasure the memories…
Thanks so much Michele. She was such a good girl!
Oh, Molly…I’m so sorry you are now without your sweet girl, Stella. What a wonderful life she led in your happy home! She hit the dog lottery the day she found you:)
Wasn’t Stella the one that ate the refrigerator?! Please tell that story!
Jim and I are sending you a big hug and lots of love…and tonight we will have a toast to sweet Stella.
Kimball
Thanks so much Kimball. Yes, Stella is the girl who ate the fridge! 🙂 It started out by her pulling out an entire Honey Baked Ham–and between her and the rest of the dogs (Sadie, Sandy & Samantha) they ate the entire thing. The next day they started pulling out bottles of beer and white wine. They broke the bottles and drank everything. I finally put locks on the door–which worked for 3 weeks–until she decided to try to chew through the back of the fridge. Lucky it didn’t kill her then…that girl. I have SO many stories… Thanks again Kimball…enjoy your toast to Stella tonight!
Molly, this is beautiful. Thank you for including me in Stella’s dignified and peaceful passing.
Barrie Yallof
Thank you so much. You brought so much compassion and peace to Stella and to us. We will be forever grateful. Molly & Frank
I’m so sorry for your loss Molly! I remember Stella as a wonderful young girl who always looked after the other girls in the house. She was the last one in the door to make sure Sadie, Samantha and Sydney were ok first. She laid on her own couch and was the silet observer. I miss all those girls! They will be at the Rainbow Bridge waiting on you 🙂
Deena: Thank you so much for your comment. Wow…what a memory you have! That was a loooong time ago. Thanks for taking the time to bring back wonderful memories. I hope you are happy and healthy…and may 2013 be a great year for you and your family 😉